Compliments

I hear compliments quite frequently. It’s really weird to me because–not exaggerating–I leave the house feeling hideous every day. My BDD has gotten better since high school/beginning of college, but it still lingers. Some days better than others. But last Thursday, I was standing at the bar talking to some friends when one of them introduced me to one of their girl friends. She instantly goes, “oh my gosh, you’re so pretty! you’re adorable!” I’m not sure if it was the alcohol talking, but I sort of looked around like…’is she talking to me?’ I responded with “aw! you made my day!” (cause she totally did), and then I told her she was pretty as well. I have never, ever just said “thank you” to a compliment about my physical appearance. Are you supposed to? Society says, “hey! you! feel good about yourself! you’re beautiful!” but then when you shout to the world, “hey, i’m beautiful!” society says back, “you’re conceited!” I feel like compliments are a lose-lose then either way. If you deny it, you’re rude. If you accept it, you’re arrogant. Other compliments I’ve gotten recently that did not render an ‘appropriate’ response:

• You have really pretty eyes
• I love your jewelry!
• Your hair looks so pretty
• You are so adorable
• I love your laugh

These were just all really awkward situations. Especially the laugh one because I absolutely HATE my laugh. It sounds like a goat mated with a chicken and then had a child. Anyways, compliments are something I’ve just never been good at/knew how to deal with. I always just either reciprocate it or just say, “you’re crazy!” I can never really accept it. Cause deep down I feel as though it’s just small talk; I feel like they are just words to take up silent space…